D &C 58:27
“Verily I say, [wo]men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own
free will, and bring to pass much righteousness.”
What is the difference between being anxiously engaged and just being anxious?
Anxiously engaged: purposeful, energizing, we approach things with intention and determination,
motivating, enthusiastic, excited, having a drive and a commitment
Anxious: stressful, doubt, fear, worry, nervous, overthinking, perfectionist tendencies, avoidance,
paralyzing, difficulty making decisions or acting on decisions, being overly hard on ourselves, can
actually mimic anger and frustration with self and others, controlling tendencies, feeling stuck,
unmotivated, exhausted, physiological manifestations can include: difficulty sleeping, muscle tension,
headaches, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating/flush, stomach pain, difficulty eating or
overeating…
Please know: these feelings are normal. Feeling anxiety is normal. Especially right now. I am admittedly pretty tired of hearing the words “uncertain” and “unprecedented” to describe what we are living through, but they really fit what we have experienced over the past year. A global pandemic, political and social unrest and turmoil, economic hardship, a complete upheaval of our way of socializing and worshiping, a removal of some of our basic support systems and access to our “former way of life.” Please don’t minimize the impact of all of these things. It has been stressful – a low-level of chronic, ongoing trauma that overshadows all we think and do. Our bodies and brains will react to this with a certain amount of exhaustion, fatigue, and yes… ANXIETY.
So, if you have been feeling more anxious than anxiously engaged, there is nothing wrong with you. You do not need to be fixed or changed. Nothing about our lives has been “normal” for some time now. One question you can ask yourself as you start each day: “What expectations of normal can I let go of
today?” Remind yourself that we have been living in “crisis mode” for some time now. You’re not just
working, you’re working during a crisis. Often with children and spouses at home. You’re not just going to the store, you’re going to the store in a crisis. And while many of us may have adjusted or adapted to this new way of operating in the world, it can still be incredibly stressful – sometimes even at a very unconscious level.
But what we want to do here today is discuss some ideas for what we can do about it. How we can cope. How we can find comfort and strength and possibly even some peace even in the midst of anxious and stressful times.
[INTERACTIVE EQUATION AND DIAGRAM]
Words that may be used during this activity:
Outcome: question mark, unknown, can’t predict the future,
ME: my choices/my effort/personality/background/interests/experiences/intelligence
OTHERS: the choices of others do impact us, their agency, we do not live in a complete vacuum
GOD: spiritual guidance and direction, blessings, promptings
CHAOS: random, luck, chance, the effects of living a mortal/flawed existence in an imperfect fallen
world (pandemic, accidents, cancer, who survives a natural disaster and who doesn’t)
Of all these things only one that we can control: ME (and that’s hard enough)
We cannot control our spouses, children, employers, the way the virus spreads, what businesses stay
open and when, what we may be asked to endure…
One key to being able to engage with purpose and intention is to focus on what we can control (me) and
let go of the rest. We can be anxiously engaged here (what can I do with what I can control today?)
without being anxious about the rest, including the outcome.
D &C 123:17
“Therefore, dearly beloved brethren [sisters], let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and
then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be
revealed.”
I know this is easier said than done. So I would encourage us all to embrace the word: practice. I am
going to practice letting go of things I can’t control, I am going to practice focusing on the things I can do instead of the things I can’t, I am going to practice being a better wife, sister, mother, employee,
neighbor, friend, disciple of Jesus Christ, I am going to practice being more present each day, I am going to practice different coping skills until I find the ones that work for me, I am going to practice saying no, I am going to practice setting boundaries, I am going to practice treating myself with greater love and compassion, I am going to practice self-care.
When we use the word “practice” we allow for imperfections and mistakes and for getting back up and
trying again when we don’t quite accomplish what we hoped we would. No one expects a child to learn
a new skill or talent or musical instrument or sport without regular practice – and in that practice we
expect and allow for mistakes and imperfections. We do not expect a child to get it right the first (or
even second or third!) time. We should allow ourselves the same space and grace as we PRACTICE LIFE.
[SELF-COMPASSION EXERCISE]
So as we practice being anxiously engaged in focusing on what we can do and letting go of what we
can’t, remember that what this will look like for each of us will be very different. So I would also like to encourage us all to partner with the spirit in getting personalized and individual and unique guidance for our own lives and our own circumstances.
Please sisters, I can not say this enough. Let us practice letting go of comparing ourselves to others. We
are all at different places and stages in life, and so unique. If we can focus on what we can control (me)
and let go of focusing on what we can’t (others) we can also hopefully stop making needless
comparisons with one another. I would also encourage you to not even compare yourself to yourself!
There is an old adage: “Do your best always, but know that your best will change.” What your “best
effort” will look like may change from day to day and week to week and month to month. So please
practice kindness with yourself and don’t compare what you can do today to what you could do last
week, last month, one year or 10 years ago.
Russell M. Nelson had a special message for sisters in October 2019. It’s interesting to me that this is the last message he gave to the women of the church before the pandemic and lockdown disrupted our
lives so much. “How do I draw the Savior’s power into my life?”
You won’t find this process spelled out in any manual. The Holy Ghost will be your personal
tutor as you seek to understand what the Lord would have you know and do. This process is
neither quick nor easy, but it is spiritually invigorating. What could possibly be more exciting
than to labor with the Spirit to understand God’s power—priesthood power?
What I can tell you is that accessing the power of God in your life requires the same things
that the Lord instructed Emma and each of you to do.
So, I invite you to study prayerfully section 25 of the Doctrine and Covenants and discover
what the Holy Ghost will teach you. Your personal spiritual endeavor will bring you joy as you
gain, understand, and use the power with which you have been endowed.
Part of this endeavor will require you to put aside many things of this world. Sometimes we
speak almost casually about walking away from the world with its contention, pervasive
temptations, and false philosophies. But truly doing so requires you to examine your life
meticulously and regularly. As you do so, the Holy Ghost will prompt you about what is no
longer needful, what is no longer worthy of your time and energy.
As you shift your focus away from worldly distractions, some things that seem important to
you now will recede in priority. You will need to say no to some things, even though they may
seem harmless. As you embark upon and continue this lifelong process of consecrating your
life to the Lord, the changes in your perspective, feelings, and spiritual strength will amaze
you!
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and
a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to
heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to
mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to
embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a
time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time
to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”
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