It's an honor and a joy to be with
you this morning, sisters. You are so blessed to have Sister Cornwall - I'm
sure you know that. She is one of the very best women I know and I love her
dearly. I also love the inspired theme that was chosen for this conference, “Certain
Women”. I have spent the last several weeks thinking long and hard about that
word "certain" and what it means to be a "certain
woman."
"And it came to pass afterward that Jesus went
throughout every city and village, preaching and showing the glad tidings of
the kingdom of God, and the twelve were with him, and certain women (also went
with him.)" (Luke 8:1-2)
I am so thankful for the King James
translators and their fortunate choice of that wonderful word
"certain" for the Greek word that was used by Luke in this passage.
They could have chosen a different word instead, a less ambiguous word like
"some.” That's actually what Luke was wanting to tell us here - that among
Jesus' earliest and most faithful disciples there were some women. But the
brilliant and inspired and devout scholars who first translated the Bible into
English chose the more poetic word "certain," and by so doing, a
whole world of possibilities was opened up for readers of the English Bible,
because in the English language, that word "certain" has more than
one meaning. It can be used as a pronoun, as it is here, meaning "some but
not all." Or it can be used as an adjective, meaning "sure, or having
no doubts." And so, just like that, being a "certain woman"
becomes something much deeper and more complex, something worth having a
conference about!
Let’s first spend a few minutes
with that original meaning, looking at those special women Luke mentioned, the
ones who were the first believers, the first followers, the first disciples of
Jesus Christ. And now we must take this opportunity to thank Luke for including
in his gospel so many stories about those women! He preserved more stories of women than any
other Gospel writer, probably because as a physician, he was much more involved
in women's lives than Matthew, Mark, or John, who were fishermen and laborers
by trade. So, we bless you, Luke, for introducing us to those "certain
women" in Jesus' life. Their lives were very different from ours, and yet
maybe not so different after all.
Luke gives first place on his list
to Mary Magdalene, who had been healed by Jesus of "evil spirits."
Most likely what she had was a violent form of epilepsy, which devastated her
life with physical and mental anguish – can you imagine what life would have
been like for her? First of all, the horror of being wracked by seizures that
came at any time of the night or day, with no warning. But then, to add insult
to injury quite literally, to have everyone believe you were possessed of
demons, clearly because of terrible sins you had committed. Her life must have
been a complete and utter nightmare - until she met Jesus, who, with a touch of
His hand, gave her the life she had never had, and had never dreamed would ever
be possible.
I am guessing some of you in this
room know the desperate yearning Mary would have felt to be healed from a
devastating illness. Or for some of us, the even deeper anguish of having a
loved one, a spouse or parent or child, suffering from a chronic disease, in
need of healing. No wonder Mary
Magdalene followed and served Jesus for the rest of her life, after what He had
done for her.
Next comes "Joanna, the wife of
Chuza Herod’s steward." It was a long time before I understood just what
Luke was telling us in that short description. This Herod would have been the
son of Herod the Great, who ruled the entire Galilee area, one of the richest
and most powerful men in all of Israel. And his steward, Chuza, was in
charge of Herod's entire household and affairs. This was a man of great
prestige and influence and wealth – and his wife Joanna had become a follower
of Christ! This would be like having the wife of the Vice President of the
United States suddenly join the Church. Think of what she was risking by doing
this - her social status and reputation, her relationships with her family
and friends - and even more astonishing, think of the courage it took for
this woman to use her husband’s money to support Jesus!
Maybe some of you here today can
identify with this courageous Joanna, married to a non-member whose world was
so different and hostile to her life with Christ in the Church. It is not
easy for a woman to navigate both of those worlds and find the right balance
that works to keep her husband happy and her faith strong. My heart and my
deepest admiration goes out to all the Joannas who may be here today.
And next comes a woman simply called
Susanna. Luke gives us no other details aside from her name, but clearly she
made herself known to the apostles, so that they remembered her from among the
throngs of other nameless disciples. We are told that she, along with the other
women, "ministered to Jesus of her substance." What substance
did Susanna freely give to Him? Her money, probably, but also her time, her
talents and skills, her devotion, her heart, her life, her future security. In
that time when women had precious little substance of their own, when they
went from belonging to their fathers to belonging to their husbands, for
Susannah to give to Jesus whatever substance she had managed to accumulate was
an act of almost unimaginable faith. If her husband died, if she had no sons to
support her, she would have been left utterly destitute for the rest of her
life. What she gave to Jesus was nothing less than her entire future security,
trusting that He would take care of her. Sisters, do we have that kind of faith
and trust?
When I think of these women, I think
of a favorite passage from the book of Omni in the Book of Mormon:
"I would that you should come unto Christ who is the
holy one of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his
redemption. Yea, come unto him and offer your whole souls as an offering unto
him, and continue in fasting and prayer and endure to the end, and as the Lord
liveth, ye will be saved." (Omni
1:26)
These courageous and faithful women
surely offered their whole souls. And thinking about them compels me to ask
myself if I have given my whole soul to Christ, or are there some parts of
my life that I am holding back for myself - not quite willing to be "all
in." On those days when I find myself complaining a little, or a lot,
about all the demands on my time and money and energy because of my activity in
the Church, when I hear myself asking "Can't I have just a little bit of
my life just for me?" Then is when I need to remind myself that those
parts of my life that I keep from Christ and hold back for myself are precisely
the parts of my life that will never become holy and sanctified, because Christ
is the only one who can make things
pure and holy. And that is precisely the reason He asks us to give our all, our
whole life, to him - so that he can give it back to us, perfected and pure and
holy enough to return to our Heavenly parents.
These are some of the lessons I have
learned from those "certain women" mentioned by Luke in this passage.
But of course there were many many other "certain women" as well,
whose lives were changed forever by an encounter with Christ. Not all of them
left their homes to follow him, not all of them had anything tangible to give
to him, but their stories are beacons of inspiration to all women in every age.
How many of these women do you remember?
*The sinful woman who had the
astonishing courage to walk uninvited right into the home of Simon the Pharisee
for the sole purpose of anointing Jesus' feet with her alabaster box of
ointment. Did you know that this woman,
a sinner, was the only person ever to approach Jesus not to ask Him for something but to give Him something, to minister to Him,
washing His feet with the most precious thing she possessed – that ointment and
her tears. (Luke 7:36-50)
*Do you remember the woman suffering
for 12 years with an issue of blood who reached through the crowds to touch the
hem of Jesus' robe and was healed (Luke 8:43-47)
*And how about those beloved sisters
Mary and Martha, who welcomed Jesus and his entire entourage into their home
every time he was in Jerusalem, who learned two lessons that all women
everywhere need to learn: 1) there is more than one right way to serve the
Lord! And 2) Jesus really doesn't want us to judge each other! (Luke10:40-42)
*And one of my favorites, that
magnificent Syro-Phoenician woman who believed in Jesus even though she herself
wasn't from the House of Israel. She came to Jesus begging for her daughter to
be healed but Jesus was only supposed to minister to the House of Israel. When
he told her that he wouldn't be able to go to her home to personally
heal her daughter - in other words, when she didn't get everything she wanted
and thought she deserved from Jesus - she did not get offended and vent to all
her friends on Facebook, but with incredible humility and faith, she asked for
just a crumb from Jesus’ table, knowing that even a crumb from the Lord is
worth more than a feast from the world. And because of her humble acceptance of
that crumb, her daughter was healed. This certain woman is one of my greatest
heroes. She teaches me that whatever Jesus offers us as women is enough. I can
hardly wait to meet her if I am faithful enough to get to heaven where I know
she will be. (Matthew 15; Mark 7)
*Another favorite "certain
woman" met Jesus in the synagogue one day, her back so crippled with
arthritis or scoliosis or osteoporosis that she was completely bent over,
unable even to see that it was Jesus standing before her. But she recognized
his voice when he called her to come to him and so was healed and made whole
and strong and straight once again. I have often wondered how it was that this
woman came to know the Savior's voice so well, so that even without seeing Him
she knew who He was - and then I read this passage in Alma:
"Behold I say unto you that the good shepherd doth call
you, and in his own name he doth call you which is the name of Christ, ....
Therefore if a man or woman bringeth forth good works she will hearken unto the
voice of the good shepherd and will follow him..." (Alma 5:38, 41)
Sisters, I have been that woman with
the bent back, and maybe you have as well. So burdened down with my own sorrows
and heavy cares, so focused on my own hard trials that I can't even see the
Savior, or that friend the Savior sent, standing right in front of me, ready
and willing to share my burdens and lift me up straight again. But when I
forget myself and try to fill my life with good works for others, I can hear
his voice more clearly calling me to come to him and be healed. (Luke
13:11-16)
What kinds of women were these
"certain women" who followed Christ? They were old and young, poor
and rich, married and single, saints and sinners, high society women and cast
outs. Many were desperately needy, women whose lives were falling apart, with
serious family problems and health issues.
But there were also women whose lives were good and comfortable, who
walked away from security and ease to follow the Savior. Each one
supported Him in whatever way they were able – they gave what they could, like
the widow who gave her 2 mites. I hope they didn’t compare themselves with the
other women they knew and beat themselves up because they weren’t doing as much
as other certain women! But they might have, because none of them were
perfect yet. They were simply doing the best they could as they followed Christ
day after day, very much like you and me.
If you don’t know these certain
women that I have mentioned here, please get to know them! These are our
sisters, and they have so much to teach us – so much to offer that will help
and strengthen us on a daily basis. You can meet them in the pages of your
scriptures – and there are so many more that I didn’t have time to tell you
about today! That wonderful woman at the well, Jairus’ daughter, the widow from
Nain, and of course Jesus’ mother Mary, and all the other Marys who were at the
foot of the cross and were the first witnesses of the resurrection. And then
too, all of those certain women in the Old Testament: Eve and Sarah and Rebekah
and Miriam and Hannah and Deborah and Abigail and Ruth and Naomi and Esther and
those magnificent daughters of Zelophehad! Please take the time to find them – I promise
you will come to know them and love them and they will be as real to you as the
sisters you are sitting next to today.
Now let’s spend just a few minutes
looking at that other meaning of the word "certain," as an adjective,
meaning “sure, without a doubt.”
What does it mean to be that kind of
certain women? What kinds of things do we need to be certain about in
this Church? What if I have questions, lots of questions – what if I can’t
honestly say “I know beyond a shadow of a doubt” that every part of this Gospel
and Church is true? Is there no hope for me?
I think there is hope for those of
us who live with some uncertainty in our faith, who are struggling with some
hard questions that are still unanswered.
I feel great hope when I read the
scriptures and discover that I am not alone in my uncertainty. Even that great
spiritual giant Nephi had many things he was not certain about. When an angel
asked him some hard questions, he confessed that he did not know the meaning of
all things, but he did know that God loves His children (1 Nephi 11:17). Maybe
for now, that is all we can be completely certain about. Hold on to that,
sisters, and let that one thing calm your fears about all the other things you
still do not know.
Sister Burton gave us a whole list
of synonyms for that word “certain” – some of them, like “convinced” or
“positive” or “definite,” might be beyond our reach today. But there are other
ways to be certain! To be certain also means to be confident (which literally
means “with faith,” NOT “with sure knowledge”!), to be firm, to be assured, to
be dependable. These are all things that all of us can be today, even if we
still have many things we don’t know for sure.
But we do need to try our best to
expand the boundaries of our certainty, line upon line, precept by precept.
King Benjamin provides us a good list of things we will want to be certain of
eventually, maybe as soon as possible. Listen carefully to his words:
"Believe in God; believe that he created all things
both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power,
both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the
things which the Lord can comprehend."
(Mosiah 4:9)
Did you get that last part? King
Benjamin is telling us that one of the things we need to be really certain
about is that we will never be certain about everything and we don't need to
be!! Now that should be comforting for those of us who have some things we don’t
know for sure!
And here's something else that
should make us all feel better - our Articles of Faith, the ones we all
memorized in Primary, remember them? They all begin with “We BELIEVE,” not even
one of them says “we KNOW.”
Holding on and moving forward with
faith, even in the face of lingering questions, is an act of great nobility and
a gift of unsurpassed love and devotion to the Savior. Jesus Himself expressed
this very thing to Thomas. Remember that story? Thomas was not in the room when
Jesus first appeared to His Apostles after His resurrection, and he had a hard
time believing it was true when they told him. He felt that he needed to see it
with his own eyes before he could really believe. Jesus made him wait for 8
days before coming again – 8 long days before Thomas was allowed to see for
himself so that he could say beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was true. When Jesus
finally came, He had a little something to say to this “Doubting Thomas.” Jesus’
gentle scolding becomes a beautiful commendation for all people who stay
faithful in the face of uncertainty:
“Be not faithless, but believing… Because thou hast seen me,
thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have
believed.” (John 20:27,29)
Blessed are you, dear sisters who
stay faithful and true before you have all the answers you seek. If you have questions about Church doctrine
or Church history or Church leaders - do not feel ashamed or anxious or upset.
Feel grateful because that means you are thinking deeply and it means you want
further light and knowledge and that is a very good thing!
Questions are the springboard to
revelation – questions are blessings! Never feel bad about your questions; and
never get nervous about your children’s questions.
I love what the Lord tells us in
this verse:
"If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive revelation upon
revelation, knowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the mysteries and
the peaceable things - that which bringeth joy, that which bringeth life
eternal." (D&C 42:61)
All these astonishing promises are
for those who have questions, who are not yet certain about everything.
And in fact, I worry just as much,
maybe even more, about people who are too certain – it’s so easy for our
certainty to turn into smugness and self-righteousness. So quickly we
appoint ourselves judge and jury of people who are still searching and
have the courage to ask uncomfortable questions in Gospel Doctrine class or
Relief Society. We criticize them for not having strong enough testimonies, not
having enough faith in the counsel of our leaders. We decide they must be on
the road to apostasy, when really they could very well be on the road to
revelation. Let us all be humble in what we know and open to the
possibility that we might not know quite everything yet. Remember "We
believe that God will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to
the kingdom of heaven."
The fact is, none of us knows as
much as we need to know to make it through this dark world of trouble and
gloom. President Eyring once said to the youth of the Church: “Whatever level
of spirituality or faith or obedience you have now, it will not be sufficient
for the challenges you will face tomorrow.” And this applies to the adults of
the Church too! We all need to be more certain about almost everything and
there is only one way to get more certain: ask more questions! And then, go to
the best sources for your answers.
What are those best sources?? Yes,
Conference talks, but not only Conference talks! Study the scriptures
earnestly, go to the temple seeking God and His direction, pray with real
intent, still your mind every day through meditation and pondering to clear
your connection with heaven, by all means do what you already know to be
true (see John 7:17), and live your covenants to access the full power of the
Spirit in your life. These are the best places to go for answers because
they come straight and undiluted from the source of all Truth and Light.
But guess what, sisters? Even after
we do all these things, faithfully and sincerely and persistently, if you’re
like me, you will still have unanswered questions, some of them really
important ones, the kind that gnaw at you in the pit of your stomach, that keep
you awake at night, that bring you to your knees and cause you to cry out to
God and beg Him to just tell you why. I have a friend who had a question like
that – his name is Tom Christofferson, the brother of our Apostle Todd
Christofferson. Maybe some of you know of him – maybe some of you have even
read his book. It’s titled “That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith
and Family.” Tom is gay and I came to know him because I have son who is also
gay – and like Tom, I have wrestled with the Lord for answers and have not found
many. I heard Tom describe his struggle, which has lasted many more years than
mine has and which took him away from the Church for 25 years, not being able
to figure out any way to be gay and a member of the Church. He has come back to
the Church now, and when he was asked what he did with all those really hard
questions, he said something so profound that I have inscribed it on my heart.
He said, “It became more important for me to know Christ than to know why.” And
so, even without his answers, he just holds on and moves forward with faith and
hope. And so do I. It is more important for us to know Christ than to know why.
I love this quote by Wendell Berry:
“It
may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real
work
and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”
and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”
When we don’t know what to do and we
don’t know which way to turn, when our mind is utterly baffled – that is the
very moment, if we turn to Christ, that we will come to know Him.
I would like to end with a very
personal story of a certain woman I was with this past weekend – she is my
mother, Maurine Hansen, the woman responsible for every good thing in my life,
who taught me everything I know about being a good wife and mother and disciple
of Christ, who instilled in my heart my passion for the scriptures and for
teaching and for learning. On the Indian
reservations where we lived as I was growing up, there were only branches of
the Church with just a handful of families. I remember my mother serving as
President of the Primary, Young Women, and Relief Society all at the same time!
My sisters and I played the piano and led the music in Sacrament Meeting from
the time we were 10 or 11 years old. We even cleaned the building every week! I
remember walking back and forth 2 miles from our house to our tiny building
every Saturday afternoon – and I don’t remember ever hearing a word of
complaint from my mother. She taught
seminary for many years, as have I, but unlike me, she had to drive for an hour
before seminary started to pick up all her students on dirt roads covered with
snow and ice in the winter months. In her older years, she served for almost 10
years as Stake Relief Society President in a stake that covers the entire
southeastern corner of Arizona, all the way to the border of Mexico. She put
10’s of thousands of miles on her car going to visit every sister in every ward
and branch in her Stake multiple times each year, trying to lift them up any
way she could. Her passion was literacy training and promoting adoption for
girls who got pregnant out of wedlock. When her Ward had a particularly
challenging group of teenagers, they called her back into seminary service,
when she was in her 70’s! And those kids loved her. Besides all of this, my
mother was the smartest woman I have ever known, entirely self-taught. She was
a voracious reader who could immerse herself in a book even in the midst of
utter chaos reining around her from her 8 children. And how she loved learning
about and talking about the scriptures, especially the life of Christ. She and
I could talk for hours, and did, about what we had just learned. My mother was
magnificent – forgive me if it sounds like I am bragging, but she really was. I
say “was” because my mother was stricken with Alzheimers Disease about 10 years
ago and today she lies in her bed, unable to walk or even stand, unable to
speak a coherent word, she no longer knows who I am or even who she is, or what
she once was. I miss her so very much. This terrible disease has ravaged her
physically and has erased all of her memories – it has taken my mother’s life
away from her. But there is one thing it has not yet destroyed – my mother
still remembers how to pray. Sometimes
she can’t remember how to swallow, but she remembers how to bow her head and
fold her arms and say words that I can no longer understand, but I am sure
Heavenly Father can. I think the reason prayer is the last thing to disappear
from my mother’s mind is because it was the first thing that was put there.
Hard-wired at the center of her mind and soul is her relationship with her
Father in Heaven – and this, I believe, is what it really means to be a certain
woman. We are daughters of our Father in
Heaven who loves us and we love Him and we have an Older Brother who will never,
no never, no never forsake us. Of this, I am certain.
Sisters, I’ve given all of us a long
list of things to do: study the scriptures, pray, go to the temple, meditate,
live the commandments, and keep our covenants. I’m pretty sure they are all
things you’re already doing, but if you’re like me, probably not perfectly. If
we can do these things better, even just a little bit better, I believe we will
be completely and utterly overwhelmed by the light and knowledge that God will
pour down upon us - he is waiting up there with bushel baskets full of truth
and love and goodness that he wants to give to us, but we have to look up, open
our hearts and minds, and let go of the worldly things we are grasping on to so
tightly right now.
I testify that “when we present our
best efforts and include God in our struggles, He can bring light to dark
things, brilliance to dull things, divinity to earthly things,” wholeness to
broken things, and holiness to imperfect things, like you and me and Mary
Magdalene and Susanna and Joanna.
My dear sisters, let us take our
place next to all those “certain women” of the past as disciples of the Lord
Jesus Christ and go about doing good in whatever way we can. This is what I
pray for, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
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