Can you tell the difference between light and darkness? Can you tell the difference between a thought from Satan and a thought from God? How can you tell? Have you experimented upon this concept?
There was a time in my life that I felt like I was in darkness all the time. Not just confused about my life path, but like dark influences were surrounding me on every hand. Sometimes I could dispel them, but often I felt their presence and I could not understand what I had done and why I couldn’t get rid of the feelings. I would feel angry about life and people in my life, I would feel frightened by the demands of life, I would feel hopeless and alone. I wasn’t sinning in any major way that I could think of. I was reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, fulfilling my calling as a Cub Scout leader and primary teacher, attending church and the temple, supporting my husband in his role of providing as well as working hard in my role of motherhood...we’d just had our fifth child. Perhaps this was just fatigue?
No. The darkness was real, palpable. The feelings were scary and uncontrollable. The relationships of those closest to me were beginning to suffer. I did not feel light. I did not feel the fruits of the spirit.
Through gospel study, prayer, and priesthood blessings, I began to learn more about light. What it was and where it comes from. In the Gospel Library app, under “Gospel Topics,” you find:
“The Light of Christ is the divine energy, power, or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives life and light to all things. This power is an influence for good in the lives of all people.” 1
Light comes from God. And it is not only a physical illumination of things, but a divine energy, power, or influence that can help all of us.
Conversely, as I had discovered, darkness could feel like an energy, power, or influence.
The prophet Mormon taught: “Wherefore, all things which are good cometh of God; and that which is evil cometh of the devil; for the devil is an enemy unto God, and fighteth against him continually, and inviteth and enticeth to sin, and to do that which is evil continually.
13 But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God.
14 Wherefore, take heed, my beloved brethren, that ye do not judge that which is evil to be of God, or that which is good and of God to be of the devil.
15 For behold, my brethren, it is given unto you to judge, that ye may know good from evil; and the way to judge is as plain, that ye may know with a perfect knowledge, as the daylight is from the dark night.
16 For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God.
17 But whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do evil, and believe not in Christ, and deny him, and serve not God, then ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of the devil; for after this manner doth the devil work, for he persuadeth no man to do good, no, not one; neither do his angels; neither do they who subject themselves unto him. 2
And so I began to experiment upon this word. Each day, I would think about every action that I did. Did it make me feel light? Did it invite good feelings in? I thought about every thought that passed through my head...did it invite to do good? Did it have the fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5? love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
meekness, temperance? What about my words? 3
King Benjamin testified “But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And now, O man, remember, and perish not.” 4
As I began to much more closely examine my thoughts and words and deeds, through the lens of whether they feel light or dark, I was amazed at the clarity that began to come into my life. I could see the way Satan had been manipulating me. Because I was not good at recognizing the source of a thought, I could spend a lot of time worried and anxious that one of my children might get hurt. Or that our meager finances wouldn’t meet our needs. Satan loved to plant my fears in my head and just watch me cultivate and grow them! It was amazing. He actually did very little in the process. What I had felt was Satan having so much control over me whenever he wanted actually had a lot to do with me! But when I began to understand what was going on. As I examined each thought more carefully, I saw that I could judge, with amazingly clarity, the source.
Does Satan have a go-to thought for you that you can’t help but cultivate each time he plants it?
Sheri Dew gave a great discourse in which she discussed the differences between the power of God and the power of Satan. She said, “Indeed, the power of God and the power of Satan are as different as night and day. Satan’s power is temporary and will end—in fact, he’s almost out of time. God’s power is absolute and endless. Satan uses his power to destroy and damn; God uses His power to bless, sanctify, and exalt. Satan’s arrogance blinds him; God is all seeing and all knowing. Satan abandons those he spiritually maims, whereas God has promised to make all of His faithful children “joint-heirs with Christ” (Romans 8:17).
There is only one thing the power of God and the power of Satan have in common: Neither can influence us unless we allow them to. The devil can’t make us do anything. Said the Prophet Joseph: “Satan cannot seduce us by his enticements unless we in our hearts consent and yield” (The Words of Joseph Smith, ed. Andrew F. Ehat and Lyndon W. Cook [Orem, Utah: Grandin Book Company, 1991], 65). On the other hand, although God could manipulate us, He never has and never will. We “are free to choose . . . eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the . . . power of the devil” (2 Nephi 2:27). In short, the kind of power operating in our lives is entirely up to us. 5
I testify that this is true. I experienced it in my own life. As I began to recognize the source of my thoughts, when I could spot Satan’s right off, I simply plucked it out. Sometimes that meant I would say, out loud, “I know what you’re trying to do and I will not participate.” Sometimes, if I was unsure if a fear I felt was a premonition from God, or an enticement toward anxiety from Satan, I would immediately take it to God in prayer and ask. Prayer, I learned, is a form of bringing anything to the light so that you can better examine it. I used to believe that I should show God how righteous I am by only having righteous prayers. Work through a problem on my own AND THEN bring it to God in prayer and show him how I had figured it out. Wow! How much I did not understand!...about God, about His love, about the power of light, about His desire and ability to help us maneuver the cunning and whiles of Satan.
Sheri Dew also said, “[Satan] is “a roaring lion, [who] walketh about, seeking whom he may devour” (1 Peter 5:8). And he will devour you—unless you “put on the whole armour [or power] of God” (Ephesians 6:11), for the power of God is stronger than the power of Satan.” 6
When I began to take every worry, every concern, every anger, and heartache to God and ask Him to help me process them and see them more clearly, He was there and pleased I had come...every time! I learned that not expressing and working through these things is like keeping them in the dark. And in the dark, we cannot see clearly enough to fully understand them. And in the dark, Satan can manipulate. But each time we talk about something, whether with God in prayer, with a trusted family member or friend, or even with a journal, we bring that issue into the light, where the Holy Ghost can now help us see the entire view more clearly and give us needed understanding. I have often been amazed at what a fast process this can be. An idea that has tumbled about in the recesses of my mind for a long time, robbing my peace in some way, and yet I can’t seem to definitively understand it. The moment I identify it and bring it to God, immediately scriptures are brought to mind that help give me perspective and greater understanding. Conference talks, and even recent church talks or Sunday School lessons are applied to the problem with such precision and clarity that I am at peace. An idea that had tumbled about and robbed my peace now no longer does. But only when examined out in the open...in the light...with trusted sources.
Example from my journal...
As I continued on this path a mighty change occurred in me. I felt so much more confident in my path. Because I could determine in such a concrete way if it was of God. I became much more acquainted with the Holy Ghost. And I learned to trust the promptings I received. As I would choose light over darkness, or choose to push out a dark thought with a conversely light one, the Holy Ghost would back me up. He would witness that something was true. And He would teach me more truths. I could feel the “eyes of my understanding” being opened. 7
In the gospel topic, “Holy Ghost,” we are taught that “His communication to our spirit carries far more certainty than any communication we can receive through our natural senses.” 8
I also found it helpful to be continually drawing light into my life.
What do you do to draw light into your life? Do you have go-tos when you need a pick-me-up or a boost? Are your pick-me-ups sources of light?
There is a conference talk that I would like to cover here now with you. It was given by Elder Jörg Klebingat of the Seventy in Oct 2014. It has been a roadmap for drawing light into my life in several key areas and conversely dispelling darkness in those areas. By regularly reviewing his suggestions, I feel like it is the equivalent of Captain Moroni’s continual preparations for war. Building fortifications when fighting had ceased temporarily. President Nelson encouraged us to take this approach in this last General Conference when he said, “Even when things went well, Captain Moroni continued to prepare his people. He never stopped. He never became complacent. The adversary never stops attacking. So, we can never stop preparing! The more self-reliant we are—temporally, emotionally, and spiritually—the more prepared we are to thwart Satan’s relentless assaults.” 9
Elder Jorg begins his talk “Whenever the adversary cannot persuade imperfect yet striving Saints such as you to abandon your belief in a personal and loving God, he employs a vicious campaign to put as much distance as possible between you and God. The adversary knows that faith in Christ—the kind of faith that produces a steady stream of tender mercies and even mighty miracles—goes hand in hand with a personal confidence that you are striving to choose the right. For that reason he will seek access to your heart to tell you lies—lies that Heavenly Father is disappointed in you, that the Atonement is beyond your reach, that there is no point in even trying, that everyone else is better than you, that you are unworthy, and a thousand variations of that same evil theme.
As long as you allow these voices to chisel away at your soul, you can’t approach the throne of God with real confidence. Whatever you do, whatever you pray for, whatever hopes for a miracle you may have, there will always be just enough self-doubt chipping away at your faith—not only your faith in God but also your confidence in yourself. Living the gospel in this manner is no fun, nor is it very healthy. Above all, it is completely unnecessary! The decision to change is yours—and yours alone.” 10
Elder Klebingat then shares what he calls “six practical suggestions” for shutting down the evil voices and restoring peace and spiritual confidence in our life. I’m going to move through these fairly quickly, but I encourage you to feel after promptings the Holy Ghost may have for you as I read these and then study the talk and principle further.
#1) Take responsibility for your own spiritual well being
Stop blaming others or your circumstances, stop justifying, and stop making excuses for why you may not be fully striving to be obedient. Accept that you are “free to choose liberty and eternal life” (2 Nephi 2:27). Spiritual confidence increases when you take responsibility for your own spiritual well-being by applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ daily.
#2) Take responsibility for your own physical well-being. Your soul consists of your body and spirit (see D&C 88:15). Feeding the spirit while neglecting the body, which is a temple, usually leads to spiritual dissonance and lowered self-esteem. If you are out of shape, if you are uncomfortable in your own body and can do something about it, then do it! Elder Russell M. Nelson has taught that we should “regard our body as a temple of our very own” and that we should “control our diet and exercise for physical fitness” (“We Are Children of God,” Ensign, Nov. 1998, 87; Liahona, Jan. 1999, 103). Spiritual confidence increases when your spirit, with the help of the Savior, is truly in charge of your natural man or woman.
#3) Embrace voluntary, wholehearted obedience as part of your life. Acknowledge that you cannot love God without also loving His commandments. Selective obedience brings selective blessings, and choosing something bad over something worse is still choosing wrong. Faithful observance of some commandments doesn’t justify neglecting others. Also, do the right things for the right reasons. The Lord, who “requireth the heart and a willing mind” (D&C 64:34) “is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (D&C 33:1). Spiritual confidence increases when you are truly striving, for the right reasons, to live a consecrated life in spite of your imperfections!
#4) Become really, really good at repenting thoroughly and quickly. Because the Atonement of Jesus Christ is very practical, you should apply it generously 24/7, for it never runs out. Embrace the Atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance as things that are to be welcomed and applied daily according to the Great Physician’s orders. Establish an attitude of ongoing, happy, joyful repentance by making it your lifestyle of choice. In doing so, beware of the temptation to procrastinate, and don’t expect the world to cheer you on. Keeping your eyes on the Savior, care more about what He thinks of you, and let the consequences follow. Spiritual confidence increases when you voluntarily and joyfully repent of sins, both small and great, in real time by applying the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
#5) Become really, really good at forgiving. “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men” (D&C 64:10). Forgive everyone, everything, all the time, or at least strive to do so, thus allowing forgiveness into your own life. Don’t hold grudges, don’t be easily offended, forgive and forget quickly, and don’t ever think that you are exempt from this commandment. Spiritual confidence increases when you know that the Lord knows that you bear no ill feelings toward another soul.
6. Accept trials, setbacks, and “surprises” as part of your mortal experience. Remember that you are here to be proved and tested, “to see if [you] will do all things whatsoever the Lord [your] God shall command [you]” (Abraham 3:25)—and may I just add, “under all circumstances.” Millions of your brothers and sisters have been or are being thus tested, so why would you be exempt? Some trials come through your own disobedience or negligence. Other trials come because of the negligence of others or simply because this is a fallen world. When these trials come, the adversary’s minions begin broadcasting that you did something wrong, that this is a punishment, a sign that Heavenly Father does not love you. Ignore that! Instead, try to force a smile, gaze heavenward, and say, “I understand, Lord. I know what this is. A time to prove myself, isn’t it?” Then partner with Him to endure well to the end. Spiritual confidence increases when you accept that “often trials and tribulations are allowed to come into [your life] because of what [you] are doing right” (Glenn L. Pace, “Crying with the Saints” [Brigham Young University devotional, Dec. 13, 1987], 2; speeches.byu.edu).
These principles have become part of my scripture study routine. I love their simplicity and practicality.
In my life, as I have learned to walk in what feels like a flood of light and peace compared to what I used to operate in, I often feel just like Peter, when the Savior asked him, “Will ye also go away?” 11
My response, too, is “Lord, to whom shall I go? Thou hast the words of eternal life.” I pray and strive to continue as faithfully as Peter did.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
- Gospel Topic - Light of Christ
- Moroni 7:12-17
- Galatians 5:22-23
- Mosiah 4:30
- BYU Speeches, Dec 9, 2003, “You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory,” Sheri Dew
- BYU Speeches, Dec 9, 2003, “You Were Born to Lead, You Were Born for Glory,” Sheri Dew
- D&C 138:11
- Gospel Topic - Holy Ghost
- Oct. 2020 General Conference, “Embrace the Future with Faith,” Pres. Russell M. Nelson
- Oct 2014 General Conference, “Approaching the Throne of God with Confidence,” Elder Jörg Klebingat
- John 6:67
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